|The Final Piece|
Is the damn weapon ready yet?Edit
"Almost. We need one final bit. We have the genetic makeup of a werewolf, the mad ramblings of an idiot condensed into a weapon, a shitload of commas, and a nearly functioning suit of Spoonfield Power Armor. All we need, all that stands in the way of cheese, is the essence of one who will die for what they believe in. Myths are terribly vague. And no, you don't have to piss in a cup."
"We need... anchovies. Without these holy fish, the Secret Weapon X is nigh useless. They comprise the essence of the greatest Troll hunter in the land. The Angry Crusader was the one who took the damn Comma Rifle. Find his anchovies. Without them, the world will never be the way it should. Full of cheese." -Nitpicker
"Nitpicker is right. Find this man. Take his anchovies, and bring them here. We can't take down Mr.Wolf without this weapon. Life, as we know it, depends on your actions at this point. Nitpicker, do we have an idea of his general location?" -Lord Spoonfield
"Uh... Maybe Norway?" -Nitpicker
"Oh good lord. Wait, I have an idea! He is the enemy of Maccy, right?" -Lord Spoonfield
"And Maccy's dead now, right?" -Lord Spoonfield
"And what do people do when their archenemy is dead? -Lord Spoonfield
"Throw a keg party? I don't know!" -Nitpicker
"No, they 'teabag' the corpse." -Lord Spoonfield
"Dammit Spoonfield! We need anchovies, not crabs! I'm a scientist, not a miracle worker." -Nitpicker
"You don't understand. If we can get the corpse here, he will come to... um, 'celebrate'. Therefore, we will have him here, with no expensive trips to Norway. Think things through, Nitpicker." -Lord Spoonfield
"Oh look, I accidentally increased your pay by 50%. Silly me." -Lord Spoonfield
"Ugh. Why did you bring the half-rotten bag of maggots INTO THE CONFERENCE ROOM?!" -Nitpicker
"Alright Nitpicker, now, we wait. I hope that stain comes out..." -Lord Spoonfield
"THE STAIN COMES RIGHT OUT IF YOU USE KABOOM!!!" -Billy Mays
"Enough, Billy. We need to be quiet".
The Return of The DudeEdit
"He is close now... I can feel it." -Lord Spoonfield
"What? When did you develop psychic powers?" -Nitpicker
"No, but I have a nose, Nitpicker. Can't you detect that smell of anchovies and salt? He is in the manor" -Lord Spoonfield
Suddenly, all light disappears from Spoonfield Manor. Lord Spoonfield lights a match.
"Blast! He cut the power!" -Lord Spoonfield
"Shit! And that means... NOOO!" -Nitpicker
Two thick blast doors slam shut in front of Maccy's body, separating him from Lord Spoonfield and his group.
"Nitpicker... Who puts blast doors in a conference room?!? That doesn't matter now! You! (turns towards the player character) You have to uphold him while we get the power grid up and running again!"-Lord Spoonfield
As you approach Maccy's body, you notice a tall figure standing beside it. Due to the darkness, it is impossible to make out any features, except that the person is hooded, heavily armed and smells like fish.
"Du er leiesoldaten, ikke sant? Jeg ventet deg." - The Angry Norwegian Dude
"Sorry, I forgot my Norwegian parlor. Step away from the body. Now." - player character
"Jeg tror ikke det jeg hører... Truer du meg? Du må være dummere enn Maccy. Gå din vei før jeg får lyst til å skade deg." - The Angry Norwegian Dude
"English, motherfucker! Do you speak it?" - player character
"Ta deg en bolle." - The Angry Norwegian Dude
You draw your weapon and run towards the figure, but as you try to stab him, an arm lunges out and blocks the attack. A sickening crunch is heard as the figure spins around, breaks your fingers with a punch, and topples you over.
"Og DET er grunnen til at du ikke skal kødde med en nordmann. Du er "virkelig" god til å "slåss", altså! Jeg "skjelver" i buksene mine! " - The Angry Norwegian Dude
"Aaaaaaaaagh! Sarcasm! It burns!" - player character
As you pass out, the Angry Norwegian Dude slowly walks towards the body again
"Damn it! Why didn't you stop him? Maccy's body has been teabagged! You have failed to meet my expectations!"-Lord Spoonfield
"He... used... Sarcasm..." -Player character
"Oh. Sarcasm. An ancient weapon of war! How did he...? Wait! What is that on your chest?" -Nitpicker
"My word... That glowing, smelly compound can only be one thing: It is Lutefisk! Marvelous. We don't need the Comma Assault Rifle now. Or the anchovies. This is perfect! Let's just hope the compound is not too unstable... Patch up, and wait to receive further orders."- Lord Spoonfield
|Quests||Holy Bacon! Experiment "Accident" The Brothers Spoonfield The M60 The Final Piece To kill a Werewolf For Queen and Country|