To Kill a Werewolf
250px-Secret Weapon X


Spoonfield Manor

Given by

Lord Spoonfield III


Secret Weapon X

That's It?Edit

"Yes, that's it. Secret Weapon X. Now, all you need to do is..." -Nitpicker

Nitpicker slumps forward in his chair, a dart sticking out of his neck.

"Whoa! What the hell?" -Lord Spoonfield

"Meryl..." -Nitpicker's dying breath

"Wait, what's that? STOP! INTRUDER!" -Lord Spoonfield

Spoonfield fires three shots at a shadow, and an audible thump is heard

"Holy shit! What was that? Quick, take Nitpicker down to the Medical bay! I'll sort out this... thing." -Lord Spoonfield


"Sir, it seems to be some kind of mutated wolf, with opposible thumbs... also, note this strange headset." -Medical Officer

"<sigh> Obviously Mr Wolf's doing. More importantly, what is Nitpicker's status?" -Lord Spoonfield

"Dead as a dodo, sir. He died painlessly..." -Medical Officer

"Dodo's... there were cells for them in the bunker... er, ahem. Right. Yes. Take that damn dart out of his neck, at least. The man deserves some dignity. <turns to player character> The plan was for you to take out Wolfy with Secret Weapon X, but Nitpicker was the only one who knew how it worked! There must be some plans in his room, go up there and find them. Take... er... Steve over there." -Lord Spoonfield

Plans for the FutureEdit

You waltz into Nitpicker's quarters, fully expecting the plan to kill Mr. Wolf and save the world to be completly screwed. As you pass by a desk, the top flips around, scaring you, and soiling your pants. Place Brain Here is written on it, and an arrow points to a small impression.

"Okaaay... I was not expecting that, to tell the truth..." -Steve

"Whoa, this is some pretty high-tech stuff! How do you think he kept it hidden from Lord Spoonfield?" -Player character

"However he did it, we gotta tell Spoonfield. Oh, he'll like this!" -Steve

The player and Steve proceed back down to the Lab

"Did you find the plans? So quickly, as well." -Lord Spoonfield

"No, but we did find something that might interest you." -Steve

"I am intrigued. Please, lead the way." -Lord Spoonfield

"We may want to... er, bring Nitpicker along..." -Player Character

"The plot thickens." -Lord Spoonfield

The three rush into Nitpicker's quarters, his cadaver pulled behind them.

"The hell is this?" -Lord Spoonfield

A Robobrain trundles out from the shadows.

"Greetings, Lord Spoonfield... and guests. My designation is M3R-Y1." -Meryl


"I take it you know how the brain thing here works?" -Steve

A ripper extends from one of her arms.

"Affirmative. You may wish to vacate the room." -Meryl

The three exit swiftly, as a sickening crunch echoes through the halls.

Fifteen minutes later...

"The procedure is complete. Please enter." -Meryl

Nitpicker's bloody corpse lays in a corner, his head scalped and empty. His brain is encased in a jar, submerged in a clear fluid. A computer screen to the left lights up in an electric orange, and Nitpicker's jittery voice filters through the speakers.

"Thanks, Meryl." -Nitpicker

"Of course, honey. I'd smile, but..." -Meryl

"Okay, I thought I said something about the "honey" while I'm working... Spoony! Damn, it certainly has been a long time! I assume that you're here about the Secret Weapon X, right? You need to power it with the electro-static charge of silver. Plug some silver into the barrel, and pull the trigger. Bam!" -Nitpicker

"Nitpicker... how... how did you build this? It truly is a marvel of Engineering and Science!" -Lord Spoonfield

"It's a long story. And don't you guys have a werewolf to kill, seeing as I'm already dead?... Oh, and it's "she", not "it"." -Nitpicker

"No, I mean the 'Brain Curio' thing." -Lord Spoonfield

"When you've been running from this line of work for as long as we have, you prepare for every possible outcome. Of course, I really miss having legs. Meryl's got her treads, but I'm stuck in this jar... Anyway, go kill the werewolf. I have many systems to calibrate." -Nitpicker

"Yes, silver. A while back you said you were searching up leads on silver. I trust your research was successful?" -Lord Spoonfield

"Nope. Silver's too soft to survive in nuclear conditions without some sort of molding process... Wait, can I see that symbol you plucked from Matthew?" -Nitpicker

"Yeah sure, just put it on the tray here?" -Lord Spoonfield

"Scans indicate a 65.3% silver to waste ratio." -Meryl

"Marvelous! Mind if we burn this beyond recognition?... For the good of the planet, of course." -Nitpicker

"By all means, please proceed. Matthew won't be needing it anymore..." -Lord Spoonfield

Decisions, DecisionsEdit

"The weapon is calibrated. Live fire tests are not advised. Please direct barrel at werewolf." -Meryl

A massive roar rocks the side of the building, windows shattering, foundations groaning in response.

"Dammit! He's here! This wasn't part of the plan!" -Nitpicker

At that moment the devious bastard kicked through a door

"Miss me?"-Mr.Wolf

Quests Holy Bacon! Experiment "Accident" The Brothers Spoonfield The M60 The Final Piece To kill a Werewolf For Queen and Country

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